Hello, my friends! Please forgive me for the delay in posting further installments. Life has become rather hectic in recent weeks. It's nice that our Lord is gracious enough to always present us with new challenges, isn't it? ^_^
There is always at least one more area in which I need increased trust. He continually seeks to unify my heart--enabling me to love Him more, and serve Him better. We worship a truly generous God!
How are you doing right now, dear reader? I would love to continue praying for you. Please feel free to post prayer requests here for all to see; let's lift each other up! If you have private prayer requests, and know my personal contact information, you can also contact me that way.
For the glory of Another
- not4myself
- This blog is meant to be a dialogue in which questions, ideas, frustrations, and worship can be shared. This is a place to engage the ideas presented by individuals--authors, singers, speakers, friends or strangers--and the culture at-large. This is a place to sift.
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(Earlier this week, my good friend said something very honest to me; hopefully this friend won’t mind me sharing part of what was said, and responding publically.)
“Hearing about…how well He holds people…is not doing me much good. I don’t have the kind of relationship you have with Him. Not yet. It may be slowly getting there, but the fact still remains that we’re not there yet. I haven’t experienced it like you have. To be honest, I’ve never felt God holding me. Someday (hopefully soon) I will know Him enough that I won’t need anything but Him. Right now though, I need physical people I know. God and I are moving closer, but until I get to know Him better and He makes Himself known a little better, I’m not going to feel perfectly secure, perfectly happy, and perfectly held by Him. I can’t. I long so so desperately for it, but it’s not just flooding in. I’m still waiting and it’s just a slow trickle….Right now I’m just trusting that He’s got a plan to help me get there, because I sure don’t. Frankly, I’m at a loss of what to do. I’ve tried and I’ve tried to get closer and experience what you’ve talked about, but it seems like I’m not getting anywhere. I know me and Him have gotten closer, but we’re still so far apart and all I can do right now is hope He comes to meet me…”
~ ~ ~
“Adonai, God, said, ‘It isn’t good that [the man] should be alone. I will make for him a companion…’ So from the ground Adonai, God, formed every wild animal and every bird that flies in the air, and he brought them to [the man] to see what he would call them…But for Adam there was not found a companion suitable for helping him.” (Genesis 2:18-20)
First of all, I know this passage is generally applied to marriage; but at it’s most basic, this passage is not about husbands and wives: it’s about people.
God—the Creator, the perfect One who is our source and our end—who walked in the Garden and carried on conversations with Adam before the Fall, announced that it was not Good for Adam to be “alone.” As I recently heard a wise pastor point out, God publically declared that He is not enough! Moreover, He placed a longing within Adam that no dog, cat, bunny, or bird could fill. The animals were not “suitable” companions. The world was not Good—Adam was not complete—until there existed relationship with both God and people. We *need* the companionship and comfort of Adonai. We *need* the companionship and comfort of other people.
Dear reader, I apologize if at any point in time my words mistakenly conveyed the notion that relationship with God should replace relationship with other people. Nor has it been my intention to give the impression that my own relationship with the Lord is perfect…or even consistently sufficient. It is true that I frequently hear His voice in my spirit, and experience his comforting presence envelope me. The process which has brought me to this point in our relationship has involved a great deal of pain and adversity. It takes time, dear reader. If you want such a relationship (which my dear friend certainly does, and that makes me so happy!) don’t worry: He will certainly grant that desire which He alone has placed in your heart. There are moments when He chuckles at me—when I sense the gleam of pure, loving mischief in his eye; there are times when I find myself flirting (yes, flirting!) with the One who loves me best; there are mornings when I silently lean against Him for the simple joy of existing together; and there are also occasions when I fling myself into His arms, finding solace from fear, despair, and grief.
But then, there are other times…
There are moments when I want *nothing* (not even my Lord) as much as I want to see my friend walk through the door, or receive a hug from a sister. There are times when I know the Lover of my soul must be there—because He never leaves—but I cannot sense His presence or hear His words. There are evenings when I would much rather lean against the shoulder of a friend rather than leaning against the shoulder of my Friend. There are occasions when I am caressing a sleeping cat and conversing with the One who loves me best…and still find myself feeling lonely. We *need* the companionship and comfort of Adonai. We *need* the companionship and comfort of other people.
There is another vital aspect of this discussion. We are made in the image of the Most High, the triune God. We have a need to receive comfort, yes. But we also have a need to *give* comfort. And while we absolutely receive comfort from our beloved, perfect Lord…We Cannot *Give* Comfort to Him. (If anyone thinks I am mistaken, please-please-please speak up!) The Lord has no need of comfort from us. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit receive comfort from each other. The natural implication is that triune God also *gives* comfort to Himself. We can and should give Him our love, our worship. But we are entirely dependent—we are not on the same level as our perfect Creator and Master. So of course, God was correct (as always) when he declared that He is not enough for Adam. In order to fulfill our divinely-inspired longing to offer comfort to another, we need other people. (Meditate on that, my friend. Take a moment to praise the God who provides so generously for us!)
So my dear friend is entirely correct to confess a need for the comforting presence of others. I know that this friend also longs for the satisfaction of giving comfort, as well. Dear reader, giving and receiving are both expressions of the pure, divine nature of our Lord, Lover, and Friend! This is something Good.
So where’s the problem? For starters, there are times when I desperately want a hug, a word of encouragement or sympathy from another human being…but I’m not in a position to receive it. (Perhaps I’m at work; I can’t just stop what I’m doing to call my friend or drive to my mothers house, can I?) And there are also frequently times when I want nothing more than to offer comfort to a friend or sister…but find that I am unable to do so. (Perhaps I’m miles away; perhaps I know my words or actions would be insufficient. Any number of constraints could make such expressions of my love and concern impossible.)
During those minutes, days, or years when we find ourselves isolated from the comfort of each other, we must continue relying on the provision and support of Most High, my friend. That it why I spend so much time stressing the importance of intimacy with the Lord. Yes, your relationship with the One who loves you best will always be a work-in-progress. And there will be seasons of apparent silence. But when I cannot comfort you or you cannot comfort me, dear reader, we must trust that it is one more expression of love from Adonai Nissi. This is training: He uses such times to instill discipline in us…so that when we next have the opportunity to comfort one another, we can express His character and love that much more fully.
I am continuing to pray for you!
:)
Ok, this is me... commenting on your blog:
For what reason do you think God is silent right now?
I would also like to mention that I am going to try really, really hard not to talk when I'm "dark," because all I ever do is make people mad or worried. And on certain things, I don't really think people want to know the whole truth anyway. It's too inappropriate sometimes, even if that’s really how I feel. You know, my mind has issues sometimes and sometimes my thoughts are scandalous. I know thoughts I’ve had are inappropriate and I’m sorry. Certain people said they wanted to know the truth, so I told them. And, I know to watch what I say now, even if it is the truth. Sorry about the confusion and for the other night.
To clarify: No I didn’t actually go looking for anything. (not to mention I already knew there was none and I don’t know that I would have had the guts if we had anyway) Also the show I was watching was NOT helping the situation. Yes, I did drink some milk. Although it wasn’t very much, I know it was the principle of the matter. All I can say is I’m sorry.
Hi girls! I want to thank you once again for sharing. I truly do appreciate it; and so do the many people who read this blog. I'm removing a couple of posts to protect your privacy. (If you have any questions about that decision, feel free to contact me.)
I'm looking forward to responding to some of your questions and points of discussion tomorrow morning (after I've slept in my own bed for the first time in several days). Thanks for your patience.
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