- A person may expect you to model Jesus Christ in your actions and speech toward him/her. Those who love us should do so. But if this person is not modeling Jesus in word and deed toward you as well, That Is Wrong. If this person requires your display of Christ-likeness to be perfect—not permitting you to express the frailty of your broken human nature, That Is Wrong.
- A person may state concerns that perhaps you have a certain habit or tendency. Those who love us should do so. But if this person does not invite you to share the deep fears and wounds of your heart which may be contributing to the appearance (real or imagined) of this tendency, That Is Wrong. Also, if this person persistently makes jokes or finds “evidence” of this habit far more than he/she emphasizes positive behaviors and attributes, That Is Wrong.
- A person may encourage you to engage socially. Those who love us should do so. But if this person repeatedly emphasizes the inconstancy of friendships and/or discourages the sharing of real thoughts and feelings, That Is Wrong.
- A person may tell you that he/she loves you, display evidence of this affection in time or gifts, and may expect you to respond in kind. Those who love us should do so. But if this person begins to demand these evidences occur frequently and/or in a certain manner—including levels of intimacy beyond what is appropriate for the time and place, That Is Wrong. If you find yourself fearful that any deviation, extenuating circumstances or personal needs on your part to be “evidence” that your love is not true, That Is Wrong.
- A person may demand your honesty. Those who love us should do so. If this person repeatedly responds to your thoughts, fears, questions, or needs with silence or a lack of concern, That Is Wrong. If this person repeatedly interprets your honesty as a personal attack, criticizes, or offers only angry words in response, That Is Wrong.
- A person may expect integrity, consistency, and cooperation from you. Those who love us should do so. If this person refuses to make any exceptions for you, but frequently has an exception for his/her own actions and habits, That Is Wrong.
Do you recognize any of these as recurring themes in you own relationships? If you have been on the receiving end of one or more of these patterns, I am deeply sorry.
Do you have any questions about right and wrong relationships? Let’s be very honest here.
21 comments:
It's sometimes amazing to me that people can be so focused on flaws that they can twist truth or circumstances to fit that. Like remembering a lot of complaining that was never there for instance.
It unfortunately happens. That sort of behavior is intended to protect oneself in some way. But sadly this self-protection prevents someone from really getting to know you, doesn't it?
What would you like to do/see in other relationships that differs from the negative one(s) you see at the moment?
I don't really understand the question, but maybe I would later when I'm intently trying not to throw up everywhere and I don't have a super high fever and a blistering migraine. Please, please... God let me die. >.<
I'm praying for you, friend. <3
Okay, what sorts of behaviors are happening in your current relationship(s) that you think in wrong?
Like, my relationship(s) that aren't doing so hot?
Yes, that's what I mean. For now, let's focus on relationships that seem to be mostly negative.
But as we think more on this, you could also expand to include any wrong/unhealthy aspects of relationships that seem to be going well. There's always something to work on. ^_^
It's hot. :( Can I answer this question after bit?
^_^ Absolutely. You don't need to even ask permission, dear heart.
Praying for you. <3 Jj
Keep pressing in to Jesus with bold desperation, dear heart. <3
Helloooo? Is this thing working?
Why yes, it is. How are you doing these days?
You remain in my prayers. <3 Jj
I'm really really sick... and lots of emotions are clashing.. and yeah...
What emotions?
I'm sorry you feel bad.
Being scared and excited and happy and sad and in lots and lots of pain. Why are you still up jj?
About what are you scared, or excited, or sad, or happy?
And I can't hardly breath anymore.
Okay. I want to hear about it. So make sure you tell me sometime, okay? ^_^
Now, go to bed, dear heart. Go rest before the Lord--praise Hime as you draw in each breath, and again as you exhale. After that, tell Him of your worries and sadness; ask Him to bring healing and peace. Just press in toward Him, Imoutochan. Rest with Him. Okay?
he doesnt always brig healing and peace thogu. what are you goin to do?
He *does* always bring healing and peace, my friend. It may not look like what you'd expect. But seek Him while trusting that He'll supply fully, perfectly, for you. You individually are precious to Him. He does not leave you unprotected or starving. I promise--because He promises.
I'm going to go do the exact same thing: praise Him, then ask Him for a quiet heart, for peace and healing. It may not look like what I'd expect, but I know I'll receive it. ^_^
Are you still gonna spend the night? :(
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